We’re home. I’ll update about our stay after a bit.

Not pregnant. Started period Saturday night. It’s okay. They are calling in a new script for another round of clomid. Crossing my fingers and feeling really good about this next cycle.

Magdalena is not doing well at all. We came back to the hospital Saturday night as a direct admit. We thought we’d be home yesterday morning, but she wasn’t feeling much better. The vomiting has stopped, just dealing with diarrhea. They have her on IV fluids and breastmilk. She got to start clear fluids this morning. She has been battling a really impressive fever. Yesterday her fever held steady at 103 reaching sometimes to 104 on both motrin and tylenol. They are keeping us another day and are hopeful that we’ll be home tomorrow. I’ll try to update then.

but my husband can’t. He made me test at 13dpo. And at 13dpo he saw a very very very very very very very faint second line. At 15dpo, he made me test again and it was negative. Heh. So I went to the doctor to get my blood drawn. I ran out of tests and I’m dirt poor. Why am I paying for insurance just to sit there? They should have had my blood work back by days end, but didn’t get a chance to call me. Still no signs of AF. And my face! Oh my face has broken out like it has never ever ever broken out. I didn’t even look this bad as a teenager! So something is going on. I’m well aware that you aren’t supposed to test until at least 18dpo to reduce the risk of false negatives, so please tell my husband that. I should know more Monday. I’m prepared for a negative result. I am still hopeful for a positive though. My mind says “Maybe I’m pregnant and it’s a boy because my face never broke out with Magdalena. I’m not puking, though I’m a bit queasy. And it’s taking forever to find out…” So who knows. Sorry to keep ya hanging.

Shana (and Manda): I didn’t get a temp this morning because I woke up with a toddler puking. Two baths later, an hour, and puking every five minutes I loaded Magdalena into the car and we enjoyed our First Visit to the ER. We spent the morning there and after blood tests and Xrays we ruled out pneumonia and ear infection and crap like that. (You should have seen the look on the Xray techs face when I told her I may or may not be pregnant. I think she wanted to make me test before she would let me in the room! But I prevailed and I was there to comfort my babe and my maybe unborn babe was covered by a sheet of thick lead. So everything is OK. ) So we’re home and she is still puking. I called the ER back at 3pm and asked for a script for phenegran suppositories. She had that at 3:30 and she can have one every 12 hours. Problem is that she is still puking through the medicine so I’m wondering how long we continue until we go back to the ER for some dehydration. So yeah no temp this morning. Sick baby. I guess she wanted to take my mind off the waiting. heh.

Shana, do you have a site back up? If you do let me know! I’ve missed you! Email me with the email at the top so we can catch up, okay?

Manda, I promise to email you soon. I’m so looking forward to the mail on Friday.

Okay, so Mamabear implied that I haven’t updated my blog. I’m really sorry. Things have been busy, and I haven’t really been feeling that great. So here is my update.

Today I am 7dpo. I think I had a pretty clear ovulation, with pains and mucous and temps. Gross, huh? I’m pretty sure we timed this correctly. (As a side note, it’s so much harder to muster up the energy to procreate with a toddler around. I’m pretty sure it didn’t take so much effort last time. heh.) I was a bit crampy pre-o and a bit crampy post 0. I was really crampy for about an hour in the evening at 5dp0, which someone thinks may have been implantation. Here is a link to my chart. You can see Magdalena’s chart on the same page for reference. I have a pap on Monday. I’m hoping she can give me hope or confirmation or something. Sunday I will be 10dpo, which means I could possibly get a positive test. This 2ww business is rough.

The lady I take care of in the mornings broke her elbow really bad. She was with her daughter when it happened. She also has a hairline fracture in a hip. She had outpatient surgery and they sent her back to the assisted living place. I deemed it completely inappropriate for her to be in that environment and said that I wasn’t able to take care of her in this condition. She needed/needs nursing home care until the cast comes off of her elbow and she has some physical therapy. So she is in a swing bed in the hospital. I feel like the Bad Guy for sending her out of her home, but really I think it was the best case for everybody.

Magdalena is walking. She toddles just about everywhere these days and it is absolutely adorable. She learned how to eat with a spoon too, I just have to scoop the food into it first. She is a lot of fun. She currently has 10 teeth! Both molars on the top have popped through and I feel a third molar. Poor baby has been miserable the past few days. She’ll ask for cheerios then put one in her mouth and scream in pain.

Not much else going on. Just hanging out and waiting to test.

Who Links Here

I’m on clomid. Day 2 of clomid, Day 6 of my cycle. I had my cycle induced a few weeks ago. I took provera for 5 days and then 3 days afterward I started to bleed. I really worried for a while there that I wouldn’t bleed. Clomid was prescribed for days 5-9. I started it yesterday. Today I’m feeling a bit hot flashy. I just found out that a friend is pregnant. She cycled once completely and on the second she got pregnant. I’m not sure if it’s the drugs or if I would react this way normally, but I’m angry, hurt, sad, and scared. I realy don’t understand why it can be so easy for some people and not so easy for others. The stupid part of me thought that all the hurt and suffering of losing a father so young was enough. I thought maybe I had paid my dues. But it wasn’t easy to get pregnant with Magdalena. And the another stupid part of me thought that maybe when I tried to get pregnant again, it would be easy. Obviously I’m pretty dumb. It took one round of clomid to get pregnant with Magdalena, so hopefully I’ll be pregnant next week. So could ya’ll send me some heavy duty baby dust?

And if you’re keeping track it’s:

Infertility 2
Suzanne 1

Today started out so well. I went to a see a friend who is staying in a hotel to go swimming. We had fun in the pool and such and then went back to the room to rinse off and give the babies a bath. I heard my cell phone ringing and answered it. It’s a credit card company saying that they think there is fraudulent activity on my card. And there is. An hour earlier someone had tried to charge over a $100 at banana republic. Obviously, it was a good thing I had told the credit card company my dress size when I applied for the card, because any sane person realizes that not only would I not buy Banana Republic, their clothes would not fit me. Hrmph. Not only that but they also had other charges through the week amounting upwards of $600. They denied the BR charge and I’m not sure about the other charges. I’ve been locked out of accessing my account online. They’ve closed the account and are starting an official investigation. Grr. This really really really ticks me off. I feel so violated too. Grr.

On a good note, when I got home there was a box from Adagio Teas with a starter set and a teapot. Lovely. It’s delicious. I’m sitting here, fuming about the unfortunate events of my life, and drinking very very delicious tea.

I really have neglected my blog. Sorry, lots going on that I feel like I can’t talk about here just yet, but I’ll talk soon though. Promise.

Magdalena has been up to so much! Here are the highlights!

• Her hair has been growing like crazy. It’s all wild and I had to pick out the first knot in the back the other day!
• She has NINE teeth! She’s had eight since the beginning of last month. Last night while brushing her teeth I found a molar! Crazy. I can feel the molar on the other side too so sleepless nights are in my future I think.
• Her vocabulary increases by the hour. She mocks so much that we say and puts it into action later. She now says “Mommy, Dada, Hi, Bye, OK” and she barks like a dog. The barking is stinking hilarious. Tuesday night we were watching TV and Gracy walked by. Magdalena got down on all fours and started barking.
• She has a “magdalena sized” chair that she climbs on and off all day. The other day Daddy turned some cartoons on for her and she sat in the chair and watched TV. (Mommy was busy, Daddy was in charge.) Occasionally she would stand up on the chair to see where I was and yell “hi!”
• She waves Bye bye now, but only if she knows you. Strangers still make her shy!
• She still loves to give kisses.
• She cuddles a lot. She comes up to you and gives you a hug and pats your back. It’s too cute. (One day Erich and I were talking and he said ” you know, Magdalena has really started to cuddle a lot more. I reallly like that.” **swoon** He hates it when I tell that story. heh.
• She can walk. She is a chicken. She doesn’t voluntarily choose to walk. After seeing other walking babies, she walks more. And daily she seems to get a tiny bit braver. It doesn’t bother me though, since I know that she can walk.
• She loves to play the come and get me game. She’ll crawl away from me and look back to see if I’m following her. I come up behind her and say “mommy’s going to get you!” and she squeals and starts crawling towards the stairs and up them as fast as she can. When you finally get her she squeals and claps with delight!
• She tickles me and loves it! She puts her little fingers on my neck and move them randomly and says (while laughing) “ticky, ticky, ticky!” She squeals with delight when I laugh and say “oh that tickles Mommy! Oh no! hehe” (there is another word she says “ticky”)
• She is such a girly girl. She squeals and laughs and flirts. I didn’t think my house would be filled with squealing girly laughter yet, but it is, and we LOVE it!
• She claps all of the time. She claps when I put the legos away (probably because I clap when she does it! heh). She claps when people on TV clap and when she hears a song she likes. She also claps when she walks ( I wonder where she picked that up!)
• She points when she wants something.
• She has started to eat three meals a day, plus your meals, plus snacks. She drinks a bit of cows milk every few days, lots of water, and breastmilk.
• Despite all the food she shoves into her tiny body, she weighs 17lbs 5 ounces and is 28 inches long. She’s a tiny petite thing!
• I finally moved all of the 3-6 month clothes out of her dresser and put it away. She still wears the 3-6 month onesies though. She is in 6-9 month clothing. I also put her in some 12 month clothing for length, but they have so much room in there! Insane!
• She brushes her teeth after I brush her teeth. If you forget to hand her her toothbrush after we’re done, she protests loudly. I must not do a good enough job.
• She loves to have her hair brushed, but only by me and Daddy. She won’t let my Mom brush her hair for some reason. At night we have to go through a routine where I brush Magdalena’s hair and then she brushes Mommy’s hair and then she brushes Daddy’s hair. She finishes this up by giving him a big kiss.
• She likes to pick the baby doll Abby up, give her a big hug, and saying “ah” and then she tries to steal the baby’s pacifier. heh.
• She likes to pull her socks off and stick her foot in my nose when changing diapers. When I smell her feet I squeal “oooo shoowee! Stinky feet!” and she giggles uncontrollably.
• Whenever you hand her the phone, she puts it up to her ear and says “HI!” Sometimes she holds conversations, “HI! babybbbaabbabab. dddd. pftttt! Bye” Recently when I’m on the phone, she MUST say hello to the person on the other end. If not she cries and cries and cries. When she’s done saying hi though, she gladly gives the phone back to me.

That’s all I can think of now, though I’m sure I’m forgetting something. She changes daily. I’m amazed at how she becomes more and more like a little girl instead of a baby every day. I’m still reminded of how babyish she still is though, when she climbs into my lap, lays down, and nurses to sleep.

Hey, while you’re reading some blogs, go check out Adagio Teas!

Tea

I’ve got no strings to pull me down…

Hey, I’m in my living room connected to the internet! I’m sitting on the couch! Erichs friend gave him a laptop yesterday that didn’t work and he couldn’t fix it. My super husband had it working within 20 minutes of getting home! Yeehaw! So today we purchased a wireless connection (something we’ve been talking about forever) and now he’s in the office playing on the internet and I’m in the LR. That really rocks dude. No more fights over the computer AND I can be where the kids are and on the internet at the same time! I can take the internet into the kitchen and not run back and forth to the office to check conversions, search for subsitutes, or go to my alltime favorite recipe site www.allrecipes.com! Life feels good right now. Now I’m pretty sure I need to work on making sure everything else gets done in the house!

I need to go because Erich needs me to download ZoneAlarm. Now hopefully I’ll update more often.

an implantation dip on my chart?

I’m eating the cake, do I have to make a mess? 

Why are all those people staring at me? And why am I wearing this ridiculous hat? 

I was being wheeled in to the OR. After 26 hours of labor, I had to come to peace with the decision to have a csection. Magdalena was stuck and was starting to feel weary of the whole laboring process. Although I was scared, I was ready to meet my tiny little girl. Erich was nervous as heck and I’ll always remember the doctor coming in and saying, “there is one really nervous dad out there.” I’ll always remember the sound of their voices as they worked to free her from the position she had wedged herself into my pelvis. And I’ll never forget the sound of that scream, so angry to be pulled out of her warm home. What a wonderful memory.

Happy First Birthday Magdalena! You’ve made our lives so much richer and I’m sure you’ll touch many more lives as the years pass. I love you Little Diva.

While eating hamburger help-me for dinner tonight (I know you are all puking with the thought, but I’m trying to clean out the pantry!):

Me: Is it good T?

T: Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t taste good.

Me: How can it be good and not taste good?

T: I don’t know.

And she had seconds and thirds.

Fertility Friend seems to think I’ve ovulated. Weird. I’ve never had a coverline on a chart before with the exception being the chart I conceived Magdalena on. Hrmm. Don’t think the “magic dance” was performed in the correct sequencing, but **shrugs**… he says he has super sperm ya know. heh heh.

My sanity. If found, please return ASAP. Thanks.