Anyway, last night I was laying in bed all relaxed after my shower and I felt a series of popping in my lower belly. It didn’t feel like gas, just like some sort of popping. It was to far foward to be gas or my bowels or anything. Just popping. This morning I felt the same thing. It’s crazy, but could this actually be the baby, this early?

Yesterday, after a particularly stressful week (remember that damn turkey? nuff said) I started having these cramps that turned into contraction like cramps. You know the ones that wrap around your body, hug on to your kidneys, then radiate right into your crotch? Yup those. And all I could think was Oh.My.God.Not.Now.Please.

Erich wanted to go straight to the hospital and I said (through snot and tears) not right now. If we are losing it, we can’t do anything. The cramps/ctx type thingies stopped after a glass of water and a few refreshing breaths. I did have some sort of bottom/cervix pain, but no spotting or bleeding.

So this morning I felt great, and after that 6am rush, I took T and Magdalena to ToysRExpensive to LOOK at the toys to make a list for Santa. We met up with Erich for lunch (and scored two free meals since they didn’t get our food out in less than 14 minutes) and we all came home. I sent the girls to take naps and sat down to start checking email. I had just opened up Diaper Pin (which I still have not been able to read) when I got this gigantic cramp. Mind you I wasn’t doing anything but sitting on the couch tapping on my laptop. And then after the second cramp, I started having a panic attack. I could.not.breath. I called Erich, frantic, and he told me to go straight to the ER. Through snot and tears (again), I said I’d call the OB.

But obviously, the OB was not in the office and the on call doc was paged. She called me back and told me not to panic. (She says to the lady who just finished a $3000 cycle of drugs and one year of TTC.) She said I should not panic at this point because I was not bleeding or spotting. I did mention that over the last day or two I’ve been feeling sick and like not eating. She said that there was no way to get an “official ultrasound” until Monday, but that I should go into the ER and have them take a look. She said that they would listen to the heartbeat , do an ultrasound, and check urine. Her guess was I was getting the flu.

So I call Erich and fill him in. Then I call my mother and tell ask her politely to meet me at the hospital to help with Magdalena and T. Then I pack everyone up and we head to the hospital.

After checking in and handling meltdown #1, they escort us back to my room. The nurse comes in promptly and I kid you not says, “take off your clothes.” Sweet. Anyway, the ER does not have a doppler and only has a fetoscope. After five minutes of her looking and telling me “don’t panic” she finds “the buggar” (She actually said this and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Oh well. And I wasn’t panicked because I’m barely 10 weeks and baby is small.) FHT were in the 140s and baby sounded fine. She let me listen, which was nice.

Then the doctor came in (why oh why are ER docs always cute young boys while family docs are old and wrinkly?) with the ultrasound. After feasting my eyes upon him seeing him all I could think was “please God do not make this a vag u/s.” He said at 10 weeks we should be able to see baby with minimal trouble through the belly. And he was right. He instantly saw my “enlarged” uterus and there was baby, hanging out, moving around, and with a strong heartbeat. I wish I could have seen this beauty, but I couldn’t as the u/s machine was like a laptop and you couldn’t see it unless you were at the right angle. He tried to print a picture, but of course, the printer was out of paper. Anyway, he assured me that baby looked appropriate measuring at 10weeks and was moving and had a heartbeat.

He said we would get a urine sample and that if I have an infection, it can sometimes cause uterine spasms because the urinary tract will irritate the uterus. He leaves and at this point someone comes in and gives T and Magdalena beanie babies (to add to the coloring books and crayons we got in the waiting room). The nurse comes in, asks if I can pee (hello? is that a stupid question to ask a pregnant woman who has been in the ER for an hour and a half? I thought so.) and sends me to the restroom. She takes T to see the collection of beanies, and Magdalena goes with me.

We come back to the room and handle Meltdown #2 when Magdalena wants apple juice after seeing the specimen. **rolls eyes** So the nurse brings in apple juice for both girls and leaves. This is when my Mom and StepDad arrive. So they come in and I fill them in and we play around in the room for about 10 or 15 minutes.

The nurse comes in and informs me that I have a rather intense UTI. Bleh. Antibiotics, yogurt, rest, and lots of water and cranberry juice are recommended and with that they send me on my merry way.

My parents took us to eat and we called Erich to tell him Neo is fine and so am I for that matter. A quick visit to the pharmacy and we are now home. Of course I need to wash diapers and pack because we are going on a trip tomorrow. (Doctor okayed.) We’ll come back Monday evening and Tuesday morning I have my OB appt. yay.

Oh and I forgot to tell you this last week, but I found out why Erich calls the baby Neo. He said that since we talked about it being multiples for so long he had thought it would be two, and then when he found out there was only one he started saying “the one” which led him to Neo. So it’s Neo “the one.” Don’t ask me, I can only follow his train of thought about half the time.

The Plan: When I saw the RE he thought that maybe the signal was getting crossed between my brain and my ovaries. He thought my brain simply was not triggering the eggs. So he said he’d be nice and we’d skip the semen analysis and the HCG since he knew we could get pregnant and the main problem is my ovaries. The plan was (and is) to do two rounds of clomid. The first at 100mg, if not pregnant up to 150mg. On Cd 12 we would do an u/s to see follicles then have a simple trigger shot. If after 150mg I’m not pregnant I have the choice to do another cycle of clomid or stop, get the SA and the HCG and then move on to injectable drugs.

The Outcome: I took my 100mg of clomid on CD 3-7. On CD 12 I went in for the u/s and we saw…. NOTHING. No follicles at all. It appears my ovaries tried to make eggs, but they failed. So we are moving on to more Clomid.

I’ve always talked about the first time I ever ovulated, I got pregnant. I (we) are now thinking that these past three cycles with clomid probably haven’t made me ovulate, which would be why I didn’t get pregnant. See the train of thought here?

So as soon as my period starts, we’ll start 15omg of clomid daily and then go back for another u/s on CD12. So if you pray or whatever, please send us big fat follicle vibes. I feel pretty worthless right now and awful and sad and angry.

Oh, and Monday (July 4th) is my birthday.

http://threadingtheneedle.blogspot.com/

So I had decided to try one of those knot blankets. But after starting it, I decided that it sucked and so I pitched it. And I made one of these. The satin binding is kind of a PITA to sew on, but I’m sure it would be better the next time I do it. I really like it. It’s super soft and will be great as a tummy time blanket or a car seat blanket. It has a few imperfections, but hey that goes along with home made stuff, right?

Each side is a different Classic Pooh print.

But, I wanted to write this entry and tell you about this warm fuzzy feeling I am going to bed with tonight. I just read about how Mani enjoyed the memory I created for us. And I find it incredibly amazing that this woman and I have never met, yet we have walked the same paths here in Indiana. This weekend I went to my Moms house. She lives with her Husband near the reservoir where Mani grew up. I couldn’t help but think about how Mani had most likely been there at one point in her life. Mani and I have never met, yet I know details of her life and she knows a great deal of my life. We share these great friends in the computer. We are all brought together by sharing the same beliefs.

When I think of all these great women whose blogs I read, who I chat with online, who I communicate with via forums, I’m overwhelmed at how lucky I am to be in any sort of contact with. And I can’t help but giggle like a school girl when I realize how lucky I am to be loved by Mani. heh.

A lovable Puppy.

07. I’ll then tell you something that I’ve always wondered about you.

I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a Midwife Student, to live on the East Coast. I wonder how you made the transition from Indiana to the East Coast and what was it like?

08. Put this in your journal.