I didn’t know it was possible to be this tired. I’m dragging! Oh My Word. I know I’ve been complaining a lot about it, but seriously, something has got to change.

And I’m incredibly annoyed by the majority of the population right now. This is really annoying the crap out of me. Along with just being generally annoyed with most people. I’m hoping that the exhaustion and irritation are signs of Something Very Good. But we won’t know for a while.

So since I am so whiney, tired, and irritable, I’m going to lay low for a few days. Look for me next Thursday. If I appear at other times, consider it a gift from me to you.

Oh My Goodness! It’s HOT! The high was 101 degrees with heat indexes around the 120 mark. It’s HOT. And miserable. Ugh.

I’m stinking exhausted. Seriously, I’m dragging big time. I just can’t seem to get enough sleep. I wake up in the morning feeling like I just went to sleep. This sucks!

The current state of my uterus remains unknown. I get twinges now and then but nothing major. My temp is holding itself well above coverline. Only time will tell. And I’m really not grooving on Father Time right now. Can we fast forward to a week from Thursday?

Mama Bear asked why we would move on to Plan B if Plan A didn’t work the first month. So here is why:

This really isn’t the first month of Plan A. Plan A is clomid. Most will remember I did two rounds already, one in February and one in March. These were unassisted. They gave me the clomid and sent me home. Last month (June) we took 100mg of clomid a day for five days. On the 12th day of my cycle I went in and had an u/s and it revealed that no follicles had developed. We waited for my period to move on. On July 6th, I started to bleed. On cycle day 3 I started Clomid at 150mg a day for five days. Monday was cycle day 13 (cd 12 was on Sunday and they don’t work that day) and I had my u/s. We found two follicles, one in the left and one in the right, and many other smaller follicles. I was given a Novarel// HCG trigger shot on Tuesday to tell my body to release the follicles. On August 4th I go back for blood work.

If I start to bleed or don’t get pregnant, than they will move me to Plan B which is injectable fertility drugs. We would start with Repronex. The theory is that even though I made follicles with Clomid, Repronex would mature more follicles. Instead of two mature and two other little ones, there would be 4 mature. 4 follicles would give me a much better chance at conception since it isn’t like all would conceive and/or stick.

My personal prophet Erich feels like “he achieved the goal.” I think he is full of crap. We shall see!

Oh, and since Wednesday night I haven’t had anymore ovary pain. I felt a bunch Wednesday around midnight followed by a release of pressure (that is what it felt like!) Since then I’ve had a few twinges here and there, but nothing big. Only time will tell.

ovaries. There is definitely something going on in there. Lots of pressure, pain, tenderness and a general feeling of heaviness. I felt like that with Magdalena. Like my follicles were the size of rocks. So in my body right now my body is applying super power hormones (injected yesterday via my patookie as T calls it) to the follicles that have developed. The follicles should burst within the next 6 to 8 hours sending an egg out and into my fallopian tube. Hopefully the tubes fingerlike parts will sweep it safely into the tube where it will be greeted by Erichs boys. (yes, they should already be waiting there. heh) And don’t worry, if they aren’t there now, there shall be more visiting very soon.

If I’m lucky, both eggs will be released allowing a greater chance for conception. We won’t know anything for TWO weeks. Man. That’s a stinking long time. And I can’t even start testing soon because they will be false positives due to the trigger I took yesterday.

It is pretty cool that two days ago I saw follicles inside my body that could possibly turn into half of my son/daughter (s). It’s pretty wild. I can say, “I saw you before you were even concieved!” Now that’s crazy!

August 4th I go back to the office to have my blood drawn for a pregnancy test. I have to be there by 8 (I’m sure I’ll be pounding the door to get in!) and they run the pregnancy tests daily (thank goodness!). I should know something by 5pm on August 4th. Mark your calendars. This is where it gets a wee bit tricky. If it’s negative you’ll know as soon as I know because I’ll post. If its positive and the results come after Erich leaves for work, then you won’t know until the next day. K?

And all of that information is pointless if I start to bleed before August 4th at which point we move onto Plan B. Plan B is painful and time consuming, so let’s all hope Plan A works, k?

Yesterday was the worst ovary pain day yet this cycle. Ugh. It makes me happy that those eggs are still growing and such, but ouch! Today we triggered. What I thought would be a simple poke in the butt, ended up being a bit more complicated.

For those of you who have never triggered ( you lucky dogs) , you have two vials of stuff and a syringe and medicine. Now Erich is a big fat chicken so I had my cousin do the shot. So I drive over there and we reconstitute the med (one vial is a powder like substance which is the medicine, the other is a sterile water type solution, you mix this stuff up and poof! egg inducing juice!). We read the pkg and start talking and realize that I need a 10,000unit shot but the syringe only holds 3,000units. So I’ll pause while you do the math on how many shots with the 3,000 unit syringe it would take to get up to the 10,000. **short pause**

Right, 4 shots! Ouch. Now, I hate shots to begin with and four sounded like no picnic. Not to mention that that needle isn’t going to be as nice and pointy, as it was the first time going in, the last time. So we call the pharmacy and mention what’s going on. They politely inform me that they only have syringes like I have instock. They are nice people though and tell me they can have one in for me tomorrow! So sweet of you, but I NEED IT TODAY!!! SO I ask them to call the hospital pharmacy and beg them for me then please call me back.

So we stick my egg juice in the fridge and wait a minute or two for the phone to ring. When it does, they tell me that the hospital pharmacy does have them and that I can go out there and get one. He mentions that they said a bag of chocolate might be nice. Heh.

So I head over to pick up a bag of chocolate. I know they were kidding, but they are being nice and giving me a syringe without asking for my husbands hard earned money. And darnit, I’ll do anything to get pregnant, yk?

So with Reese PB Cups in hand I go in and get my syringe and hand over the chocolate. They are very surpised and happy and tell me “good luck with your egg juice!” and tell me to come back any time for more egg juice holding syringes. Such sweet folks yk?

So I head back to my car, and drive back to my cousins house where my daughter is circling the house saying “mommy! mommy!” Did I also mention that it is freaking HOT outside and that it is HUMID and I’m on CLOMID and I’m ON FIRE!? Well, now you know.

So we fill up the gigantic egg juice holder with egg juice and she shoves it into my well padded rear. And let me tell you, that was a TON of egg juice. Ouch. And now I sit here typing this. My stomach is turning, I don’t feel so good, and my butt hurts. You never think that this is how your baby making experience is going to be, but oh well.

So I’m going to ask you send me some egg releasing vibes, healthy spermy vibes, and sticky egg vibes. (I know! I ask for so much don’t I! You all are starting to sound like my husband. heh.)

My ovaries are having a good day. Ladies, there are TWO EGGS! ! One in the right and one in the left and “a bunch of other little ones”!!! For those of you who like numbers, the right side egg is 16.5mm and the left is 14.5mm and the endometrium lining is a whopping 15mm. So I have a very thick lining which is good. We trigger tomorrow! Excuse me while I dance around the room and dream of an April baby! (Or babies? **gasp**)

There’s HUMIDITY! OH MY GOODNESS! It is currently 6:20am and 77 degrees outside. It wouldn’t be bad if the humidity wasn’t 93%. Wowza. Just wait, the high should be 90 degrees. Have you ever sat in 90 degree weather with 93% humidity? It isn’t pleasant. And with my elevated body temp, I’m already constantly hot indoors!

You may be wondering why I’m up this early. I’m about to head out and take a look in the deepest darkest parts of my body. My ovaries and I have a love-hate relationship. We’ll see if this is a good day for them…

We had our 18 month well check today. Everything is great. Magdalena weighs a whopping 21lbs and is 30.5 inches tall. She is a petite little thing but hanging on to her growth curves of 25th and 10th percentile.

He was very impressed with her words and her initiative on potty training. When he picked her up to take her to the other side of the room and watch her gait, she RAN back to me. He thought that was really funny. We are officially the longest breastfeeding couple in the history of his practice! That puts a gigantic smile on my face.

Let’s see. She received two shots and I’m happy to say we are done until she goes to school! Yay!

Right now I’m working on dyeing some flat diapers. It’s for my business. We are having our grand opening in August 2005! So head on over to our site and sign up for the yahoo mailing list! If you forgot where we are:

Cloth Beginnings

My life is just incredibly exciting right now, huh? On Monday, we go look deep inside my body and see if there is anything growing. Erich thinks that there is something in there this time. I’ll tell you that Erich is a prophet. heh. When I was newly pregnant with Magdalena, but hadn’t tested yet, he swore up and down that I was pregnant and I refused to even think that. People, this was a few days after ovulation. He just knew I was pregnant, and he was right. So hopefully he is right this time too. Of course, after he tells me he thinks there are eggs in there I follow up with a zillion questions like “do you really think so?” or his favorite “are you just saying that to make me happy/so I’ll shut up?” Believe me, he loves it when I ask a million questions like that.

Anyway, send me juicy egg thoughts. Even if they aren’t fully ripe and ready to trigger on Monday, I’m so totally cool with that. As long as there is at least one in there (and dare I hope for two?)

I’m a slacker. That is all there is to it. My birthday was Monday. It was okay. Tuesday Magdalena and I left for Tennessee to help my Nana pack. We were there for four days and it was a very long four days! We both missed Erich terribly, but Magdalena missed him a lot more. She regularly walked up to doors and asked “Daddy?” or brought me the phone and said “Daddy?” She was so happy to see him!

My cycle started Wednesday while we were gone. I started the heavy duty clomid on Friday. Yesterday I started having some intense ovary pains. I’m still having some and I feel like I’m in a constant state of heat. I want to say that that is what it was like when I took the clomid that eventually led to Magdalenas conception. Not heat flashes, just a constant heat. I’m not sure, I should go look.

Erich woke up this morning complaining of a sore throat. He says it is because we have the a/c running in the bedroom with a fan blowing. Like I said, I’m hot. So tonight he says no fan. Damnit. How will I sleep? Probably not well.

Magdalena is kinda sorta potty training. At least every other time she announces “uh oh” if she peed. The other times, she tries to take her diaper off then sit somewhere and pee. I’m definitely not ready for this. She has a little baby bjorn potty now ( I wanted to just use the small seats on the toilet, but she is so itty bitty she needs an itty bitty potty). She’s peed in it several times since yesterday. So we’ll see where things go. I’m definitely not actively trying to potty train her. Erich and I are just letting her lead the way, yk?

I’ve really neglected telling ya’ll whats been going on. I’m sorry. It’s been a crazy, busy, rough couple of weeks to say the least. Anyway, here goes.

The Plan: When I saw the RE he thought that maybe the signal was getting crossed between my brain and my ovaries. He thought my brain simply was not triggering the eggs. So he said he’d be nice and we’d skip the semen analysis and the HCG since he knew we could get pregnant and the main problem is my ovaries. The plan was (and is) to do two rounds of clomid. The first at 100mg, if not pregnant up to 150mg. On Cd 12 we would do an u/s to see follicles then have a simple trigger shot. If after 150mg I’m not pregnant I have the choice to do another cycle of clomid or stop, get the SA and the HCG and then move on to injectable drugs.

The Outcome: I took my 100mg of clomid on CD 3-7. On CD 12 I went in for the u/s and we saw…. NOTHING. No follicles at all. It appears my ovaries tried to make eggs, but they failed. So we are moving on to more Clomid.

I’ve always talked about the first time I ever ovulated, I got pregnant. I (we) are now thinking that these past three cycles with clomid probably haven’t made me ovulate, which would be why I didn’t get pregnant. See the train of thought here?

So as soon as my period starts, we’ll start 15omg of clomid daily and then go back for another u/s on CD12. So if you pray or whatever, please send us big fat follicle vibes. I feel pretty worthless right now and awful and sad and angry.

Oh, and Monday (July 4th) is my birthday.