June 30, 2004

That would be Erichs finger you see in the side of the picture. I’m too lazy to crop it out. :) 

The Ups and Downs

I’m feeling a bit better. Not 100% okay, but bearable. Part of it all may be hormones, as Mother Nature (that bitch) decided to come back after about 15 months (ya know, 10 months gestating, 5 months breastfeeding). I’m still exclusively breastfeeding, but am one of the lucky few who find themselves fertile again. Guess my body thinks it’s time for another one! Maybe I should talk with Erich…

Let me say that you, my few readers, and every single person on my blogroll ROCK my world. I consider you all friends and care about each and every one of you. If I had a secret stash of never ending cash, I would be touring the country right now to meet each and every one of you. I hope Magdalena will someday find a network of friends like I have. To name just a two (not excluding any of you), but Jennifer dropped me a line saying she sent me a birthday gift. She is the coolest most thoughtful person I have never met. If all people were 10% of the person she is, we’d be very lucky. And Rachel. I have the privilege of having short conversations here and there on the phone or online with her. She is a super cool Mom and person, and I always walk away from the conversation feeling like I was talking to the coolest kid in school. It’s a great feeling.

Have I mentioned that I miss reading AndreaQ?

That’s all for now. I went to a friends house today and she helped make me a sling to take in the pool. (It’s a beautiful sling, but not quite as special as my Maya so I needed one to “ruin”) We also made some diapers for her son, and I took pride in feeling like the crunchy mama I am. I look at Magdalena and feel like I am doing *something* right and that’s a super good feeling. I don’t feel that way often, and I hope others feel the same way too. I’m going swimming with Alicia tomorrow. Yay. Water. I love water. Magdalena loves the bathtub. Here’s hoping she likes the pool too.

PS June 29, 2004

On Friday, Magdalena figured out how to roll her way across the living room floor. It takes her a while to get there, but with determination, she gets there. And for the love of Pete, I feel the teeth, pop through already, those teeth are driving me batty.

Here there and everywhere

I’m around. I know I’ve been quiet. Some things are brewing around in my brain and I don’t know how to pour them out on paper to be quite honest (or the web.) My birthday is coming up. I’m feeling a bit slighted. Mainly because everyone in RL seems to be overlooking my birthday. I realize that your birthday isn’t as much excitement as when you turn five, but I’m feeling neglected. These feelings may be totally in my head and not a reality, but this is how I feel. I feel like I am taken for granted, that nobody really cares. Everyone expects me to something or be something or give something, without ever being acknowledged or thanked. I’m made to feel that I do nothing all day long, that my house is a wreck, that I’m not doing a good job when “all I do is stay home.” I would like to point out that Magdalena is growing and happy and loving towards others and always giving us something new. I would like to think that I am a major part of that. Nobody else sees it that way though. She was born to be “sweet and easy to get along with” or “sweet wholesome and virtuous” (Alicia does this sound familiar?) and I have *nothing* to do with those qualities since I do not possess these qualities in others eyes. I would like to think that if it were not for my loving care, my always being here, my “staying home and doing nothing”, my giving, giving, giving, to Magdalena then she wouldn’t be like this. I think she would be screaming constantly and always in a bad mood. But then again I am wrong. I am never right. This bothers me a lot. I don’t know how to make people stop, and when I do I’m just being “stupid, overly sensitive, and wanting the spotlight.” Which is not the case at all I tell you. I just want people to stop making me feel this way. It doesn’t feel good. And I don’t know how to tell them that.

June 24, 2004

Daddy’s Home! Magdalena sits and chills with her Daddy. 

Don’t you hate when you can’t reach your elephant? 

Good News! June 23, 2004

ALICIA IS PREGNANT!!! ALICIA IS PREGNANT!

June 22, 2004

Sleeping in her favorite place. (Note to self: I really need to lose some weight.) 

Like In the Movies

I spent this morning lounging around in the bedroom with my beautiful daughter nursing, playing, and watching ER. That’s right folks, no T. She is home with her Mamma who is on summer break. She’ll still be coming on Fridays for the long 14 hour day and summer vaation is only a few weeks. Then she’ll start coming daily again, but preschool starts in August, which lets face it, isn’t that far away. And although I will miss those few extra dollars (yes for 200 hours a month that T spends/spent here, the pay was awful), I’m really enjoying this time with Magdalena who is the cutest and funnest baby lately. (Besides the fact that I can see indentations of teeth on her gums and she appears to be entering into a teething stage and acting like she is in pain at random moments and I.don’t.like.this.stage.)

Anyways, while watching ER this morning, I noticed that everytime they went to a scene where an actor went to his apartment, the actor didn’t do anything. He just turned on the music and made himself a drink and stared out the window while watching the rain. Really now, who does that? Even before I had a baby, I came home and went straight to work on my house. Now granted, the apartment doesn’t have three floors or dogs or husbands for that matter, but I’ve never enjoyed this relaxing recreation. Even in college it seemed I came back to my room and cleaned up. (And I lived in a sorority so I was living with two other girls in the same size dorm room that one occupied in non greek life.)I would run downstairs and start laundry. Pick up (my roomates were self proclaimed slobs, and I was not). I would vaccuum our room and straighten out the daybed before I could sit down and check email then start my homework. Today, I come home and let dogs out. Pick up dog toys. Get Magdalena settled. Run downstairs and start washing diapers. Run upstairs wash dishes. Run downstairs, start more laundry. Run upstairs and tend to Magdalena. Do you see a pattern here? Where does the drink while watching the rain really come into play? Do you guys have time to watch rain? Am I the only one who feels like a dog chasing its own tail?

Moving on, my birthday is in 12 days. (I know this because when I check Chucks blog, they are counting down Laurens due date which is my the fourth of July which happens to be my birthday.) Today is Erichs birthday. Yahoo. I’m wondering if I can bribe my mom into giving me some money for some diapering accessories (I’d like a couple wool covers and about 5 more fleece topped Hemparoos.) and talk someone else into buying me the Baby Book by Dr. Sears. Probably not. Nobody loves you when you aren’t cute anymore. heh.

5 months June 21, 2004

Today marks my baby’s five month birthday. Wow. Where has the time gone? She is the sweetest little girl. Let’s see what has she been doing…

Well, she is still exclusively breastfed. No food for her, not that she even shows the slightest interest. She is grabbing at just about everything. She’ll clear a table in 30 seconds flat. She sits up unassisted for at least a minute and much much longer with just the boppy around her. This morning she reached for Ella so I’m going to have to keep my eyes on the two of them. Magdalena enjoys the exersaucer and has mastered all of the toys on it. Daddy was surprised a week or two ago to hear her start the music on the jeep (one of the toys) all by herself. And she was quite pleased herself.

She’s found her feet and can now successfully reach down in between her legs when changing her diaper. Oh joy! We are still cloth diapering and thoroughly enjoying it!

Recently when held in a standing position, Magdalena has started moving her knees in a walking motion. Erich and my Mother are thrilled about this. She is rolling more in both directions and reaching for toys. She refuses to roll onto her tummy though. She ain’t no fool! She hates her tummy, why would she roll onto it? When I lay her on her tummy in the bed, she can scoot her knees under her and lift her butt. Then she’ll collapse and lift her torso and head up. Now if she could only do both at once…

She is getting a bit dangerous with all fo the grabbing. We went to a town with a whole bunch of shops that you just go look in. You know the store, tons of tiny and very appealing little things to grab off of shelves and break. Luckily she wasn’t successful in her attempts. But Mommy was scared.

She weighs in at a whopping 12 1/2lbs (or so) and is 24″ long. She can still wear newborn clothes, but is transitioning into 3-6 months for length only.

Oh, I have to go, the princess calls…