Have you ever heard the song by Dan Hill entitled “Unborn Heart”? It’s kinda slow but the words are really cool. Here are the lyrics.

Unborn Heart

When she told me

She was gonna have a baby

A part of me went weighless

For the first time in my life

There was nothing I could say

It’s like a miracle from the stars above

Paralized with fear

I was overcome with love

She said soon you’ll hear the beating

Of an unborn heart

This is the answer

You’ve been searching for so hard

And for the first time in my life I felt

The wave of love so deep

As I listened for the unborn child’s heartbeat

I said something stupid like, how are you feeling

She smiled the warmest smile I’ve ever seen

Ohhh, I guess that said it all

Now were a far cry from the storybook romance

Something in her eyes, made me crumble

I reached out for her hand

She said soon, you’ll hear the beating

Of an unborn heart

This is the answer

You’ve been searching for so hard

And for the first time in my life I felt

The wave of love so deep

As I listened for the unborn child’s heartbeat

Now we all know how crazy

This world can be sometimes

And I lie awake at night and wonder

How a child survives

Beyond the danger in the strangers

And the inhumanity

Lord give us strength to someday find a world that lives in peace

Ohhh

Soon, you’ll hear the beating

Of an unborn heart

This is the answer

You’ve been searching for so hard

And for the first time in my life I felt

The wave of love so deep

As I listened for the unborn child’s heartbeat

Ohhh, I can almost hear the beating…

Courtesy of Leo’s Lyrics

I posted a picture of me at 18 weeks. According to the pregnancy journal we are in the fifth lunar month now. You can also see my kitchen that I painted. All of the walls are that yellow with cabinet doors a minty green. It’s beautiful (IMHO).

Does anyone know where I can find online stories and books to read?

I’m genuinely pissed right now. It really ticks me off that I have been desperately looking for things to do around here just to pass the time. Yet the chick (who has called in 4 out of 5 times this week) who works with me comes in, sits down and starts reading her stupid little russian short stories. She only works four hours a day and to top it off, she has taken at least an hour lunch already. WTF? Someone please shoot me.

So it’s 10:08 and I’ve done all the work for the day. What the heck do I do now?

I just played the Lemonade Stand Game for about an hour. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am insanely bored and that it is just not profitable to have a lemonade stand. I keep telling myself that I can leave at 3:45. I’m supposed to leave at 4pm but 3:45 is acceptable. But dang that is still 30 minutes away.

I would never say that to anyone, but that is how I feel my limited duty supervisor treats me. I believe that in a previous entry I have said that I hate being treated like a child and it’s this LD supervisor that treats me in such a manner. She comes to me and repeats her directions at least five times. She speaks to me like an illiterate little child who doesn’t even speak English as their first language. I despise that. Why must she treat me this way? I’m a very intelligent young woman, graduated with an honors diploma, had an above the average SAT/ACT score. I also went to a very snobby undergraduate school that stole a lot of my money because they are so “great.” And yet, this lady thinks that she can treat me in this demeaning manner. It irritates the living crap out of me.

I just got back from my mid day snack. A small salad. A bonus (aside from not feeling hungry anymore) is that when I eat here at work, it takes time which makes my day pass by a bit faster. Yum. So I had a small salad, a bit of cottage cheese, and apple juice. Healthy, right? I’m trying to make a conscious effort to consume more calcium, juice, and water. Since I don’t drink milk, I’m thinking I should be uping things elsewhere, so I had cottage cheese. And I drink juice at work and water at home and a small cup of not very strong tea in the morning. The tea helps “ground” my stomach.

Check out Rachels really really really really adorable baby.

I’m hungry yet again. I’m thinking a nice salad would taste good right about now. What do you think?

Okay I’ve had about enough of this topic so I’m going to let my rant loose and forget about it. To begin, I’ve always been a very picky eater. I always say to not take offense if I don’t eat something that is put in front of me, it’s probably delicious, I’m just not a fan of that particular food. Erich is the exact opposite. Although he too is a picky eater, he will eat anything that is put in front of him.

Pregnancy has not made me any less of a picky eater. In fact, it has probably made it worse since things I once enjoyed like fast food, greasy foods, sweets, milk, cereal, and eggs no longer appeal to me. (I did however have Chinese food the other day on a craving, but normally I don’t like Chinese). So most foods that make me sick now are breakfast foods. If I don’t eat breakfast, I start the day off sick, so breakfast has become somewhat of a difficult time.

So the other day, I went into the cafeteria to scavenge for something to eat. The only thing that looked appealing was a doughnut. Knowing that if I at least got something into my stomach, I would feel much better and able to snack on nuts and crackers until lunchtime. I paid for the doughnut and noticed coworkers sitting at a table eating so I joined them. As soon as I sat down someone says ” you know that doughnut isn’t very good for that baby”. This irritates me, but I smile and say ” I guess you are right.”

A couple of days later, I go into the cafeteria to buy a small coke. I have a raging headache (which about five days later, I still have) so I figure a small dose of caffeine might help things. Well I run into yet another coworker and he tells me that I shouldn’t drink caffeine while pregnant. This enrages me. First off, I don’t indulge in junk food all day long. In fact, junk food mostly makes me sick. And sweets make me sick, so I’m probably eating healthier than I have ever eaten in my entire life. Secondly, this is coming from a man who earlier this year had a heart attack, yet still smokes at least a pack a day. I could have said, “well those cigs aren’t good for your heart, and it probably enrages the people that WORKED THEIR A**ES OFF TO SAVE YOUR BUTT to see you smoking.”

I understand that everybody has this thing in them that wants to “help.” But to be truthful those things are more upsetting to me. It makes me think I’m going to be a bad mom, if I can’t even do what’s right for baby while s/he is inside of me. I know there is always going to be someone, but I wish people would just lay off for a while. I had a very rough beginning 12 weeks of this pregnancy. I haven’t gained a ton of weight, in fact I lost almost 22lbs. I only think that since the weight loss that I’ve gained maybe a 1 1/2 lb. I’m not going crazy like some preggers do, but there is no way to show others that. I guess I just have to bite my tongue and live with it.

It appears that the other chick that works in the library has called in. After all it is 10:15 and she is supposed to be here at 10am. It just boggles my mind that she calls in at least once a week and nobody says ANYTHING to her, and yet if I call in once more they are going to fire me. Is there any justice in this world?

It is currently 9:45am. All of my “work” is done. So how do I fill my time until 4:00pm? Suggestions anyone?

My life is boring. Any ideas on how to spice it up?

Not much happening around here. Completely, insanely bored out of my mind, but ya know, story of my life. I look forward to the day when I say, “bye-eee! I no longer have to work in this hell hole! nahnahnahnahnahnaaaa” That day seems really far off right now.

I really miss Beanmom too. And I really want to see a picture of Amelia. Oh well, I’ll live, right?

I just came from the cafeteria. I walked up to the register to pay for my beverage and the cashier was a few feet away putting away clean silverware. Several days ago, I noticed that when they put away silverware, they wear gloves. This made me very happy to see that they did not come in contact with them. So today I wait for the lady at the counter. She comes over, and I expect her to take off her gloves, but she doesn’t! She rings up my purchase collects my money, shuts her drawer (all with gloves on ) and goes to finish putting the silverware away. I know what your thinking, surely she changed gloves right? Wrong. She did not. And I feel now that I have a calling to be an undercover cop for the Health Department.

No, not me. Mine needs to stay in a lot longer. I am really impatient about Rachel though. I realize that no news at this point, is probably good news, but I really want to know what is going on. And being here at work doing absolutely nothing makes me want to check her blog EVERY 2 1/2 minutes.