May 20, 2003

Rob’s Amazing Poem Generator created this for my blog.

And a positive but

lately and

start to watch

her. and fix it. Dh

will try to go and

sitting in a warning we started

building the other dream about stuff but

lately In there?

On day wish.

That even though my business, go

to get that

is SO wanted and the yard inside

the test

I just found out of

here And sitting in the lives of this guy knew that

I wonder if some embryo was going

to you

understand. I

want to the part that everyone can tell you make

of his 10 favorite bloggers

better than

what do my temps dropped significantly

on Monday.

Urgh. I had this huge post and now it is gone. Damn Blogger. Anyways, as I said before, I skipped work because I am under the weather. Very nauseous. I feel sick and as soon as I lay down and get that feeling to go away I and start to think about food again I get very sick again. Dh says maybe it’s morning sickness. One could only hope, right?

It’s cycle day 22 and my temps are still up. Is there a little watermelon seed in there? Maybe even two? Heh.

I’ve been having really weird dreams lately. The other day I dreamed that I was pregnant but I had just found out (opposed to all the dreams I had and I was gigantic pregnant) Anyways I had to go to the batheroom. And the urge was so terribly bad and I’d find a batheroom, do my business, go back to something and I would have another horrible urge to go again. This continued on about 25 times! When I woke up in real life I had to use the batheroom so bad that I could hardly stand up and waddle to the batheroom!

The other dream I had was last night. Dh and I were with some friends somewhere and I told him I couldn’t take it anymore and that even though we weren’t 18 dpo that I was taking a test. I took the test and left it with him to watch for results and went down (the beach?) to hang out with some friends. A few minutes later I heard him yelling,” come here come here come here!!” As I went back up and looked at the test I saw two gigantic, fat lines. I said, ” what does that mean?” (as if I didn’t know! hah!) And he said, “It’s positive!” I said, “uh huh” and he said “yes! it is! we’re going to have a baby!” Then I woke up. So what do you make of that?

May 19, 2003

18 dpo is a very long time to wait. Each passing day seems to get a bit longer than the one before. I yearn to know that the test will come out positive but fear it won’t just like every other test. I don’t want to do another round of this again. I want to be preg. It sucks. I’m so anxious at this point. I never knew that days could last so long. I try to fill up days without thinking about stuff but it doesn’t work. So there really isn’t much to say. I’m completely excited that Dawn is almost there. On a good note though, my temps are still up. Yee haw. Soon. Soon we will know. I’m off to be anxious elsewhere.

May 16, 2003

Hi all. I’ve been quiet lately. In fact I’ve been quiet ALL of the time. It has been such an emotional month. I’m 6 days past ovulation today. 12 more and that would mean I would most likely be pregnant. Man I want it so bad. I’m sure you understand. I think about it all day and dream about it all night. I was having weird muscle cramps/ovary cramps the other night while laying in bed with DH watching TV. He looks over at me and says, ” wouldn’t it be great if some embryo was just burying itself in you right now? ” Yes it would. It makes me want to cry to think that him and I could create a baby. A baby that is so wanted and will be so loved that I feel at times I am just going to burst. Okay, now I’m crying and I’m sitting in the hospital library so I probably look like a freak!

Now I wonder if I should test on day 28 of my cycle or wait to see if I get to 18 dpo. Hmm. Man I don’t want to see AF.

So I’ve been quiet lately and tired. It seems I have left my brain in other places because I can’t seem to remember simple stuff. I don’t know what it is but I hope I feel back to normal soon, whatever the hell that may be. I hate work. I dread it, which isn’t like me. It just seems now that the shit is hitting the fan and it awful to be here. I don’t want to be here. I’m tired of seeing pregnant bellies (though I would like to see Dawn’s) I actually love preg bellies but lately I just can’t seem to get happy for “real life” people. I’m ecstatic about Dawn though. And I can’t wait to see a picture of her and hear her name! I will get that package in the mail Dawn, I promise! I’m running out of time!

Thanks to Jennifer for the Mothers Day wish. That also made me cry.

Just as a warning we still do not have internet at home. I just need to copy all of the blog addresses down and then reformat the computer. I think somethings bad in there so might as well. That damn computer is probably nearing the end. I just pray it holds on a couple of more months. I will try and get to the library to post if I can’t get it to work at home. If not I’ll talk to you all on Monday. Have a fabulous weekend.

Hi all. I’ve been quiet lately. In fact I’ve been quiet ALL of the time. It has been such an emotional month. I’m 6 days past ovulation today. 12 more and that would mean I would most likely be pregnant. Man I want it so bad. I’m sure you understand. I think about it all day and dream about it all night. I was having weird muscle cramps/ovary cramps the other night while laying in bed with DH watching TV. He looks over at me and says, ” wouldn’t it be great if some embryo was just burying itself in you right now? ” Yes it would. It makes me want to cry to think that him and I could create a baby. A baby that is so wanted and will be so loved that I feel at times I am just going to burst. Okay, now I’m crying and I’m sitting in the hospital library so I probably look like a freak!

Now I wonder if I should test on day 28 of my cycle or wait to see if I get to 18 dpo. Hmm. Man I don’t want to see AF.

So I’ve been quiet lately and tired. It seems I have left my brain in other places because I can’t seem to remember simple stuff.

May 14, 2003

Whoa, I am not a tramp! I think it may be all the raging hormones affecting my subconscious.

Tramp Bear

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May 13, 2003

Try this link for my chart.

Stolen from Dawn.

Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who!

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Still no internet!!! I spoke with the cable company this morning. They can’t see my computer, the comp says “cable unplugged”, and the modem responds when they ping so the problem is on my end. Maybe dh will be in a better mood tonight and can take a look at it and fix it.

My temp chart looks very promising! yay! So I’m going to go and try and figure out how I can link it so you guys can tell me if you think it looks promising.

I was reading dh copy of “Wired” magazine last night. They were talking about blogspace. It was said that this guy knew what was going on in the lives of his 10 favorite bloggers better than what was going on in the lives of his “real life” closest friends, and it is SO TRUE! It makes sense though. I tell you guys everything and I don’t speak much anymore in real life, though I am a big talker. Oh well. I catch you all on the shizzy (I’ve been reading stuff on the Shizzolator too much!)