April 29, 2003

Clomid Day One

Well first pill was this morning. Not feeling to bad. I don’t know quite what I am expecting to happen. Well other than getting pregnant. I DO expect that to happen. I was a bit nauseous in the mid morning which I contribute to the clomid. I forgot to take my BBT this morning. Oh well.

In other news, last night I became a Mary Kay consultant. Yes I know this sounds very corny. “ding dong! Avon calling!” But I figure, hey I’ve already have three jobs on top of trying to keep up with my house, what’s one more? Yes the job count for me is up to five: a) my job at the hospital, b) babysitting/dogsitting, c) cleaning houses, d) mary kay, e) taking care of my hunny, dogs, and house. How the hell did my mother do it? Props to her. I’m EXHAUSTED!

This morning we went to Wells Fargo and got a home mortagage!!!! People keep telling me, “congratulations! you’re in debt for the next 30 years!!!” WOOHOO~!

Bad news struck home today. Am I going to lose my job? We are so slow in surgery tomorrow that they gave me the day off. I have mixed emotions. If we are slow that isn’t good because we need to be busy so I can keep my job. On the other hand, I need a day off! I’m going to do all of my laundry tonight. In the morning I have a house to clean, and afterwards I’m just going to veg out! Maybe I’ll get outside in my yard and do some work, but it’s highly doubtful! Also dh informed me that I have webspace on insightbb.com so I can upload some pictures to share with you lovely people! yay!

Okay time to get moving. Oh and by the way, Anyone want to buy some Mary Kay products? You know you do!

April 28, 2003

The blood test was a big fat negative. So we are starting a new game…clomid. Let’s pray it only takes one month guys. **fingers crossed**

I say … and you think … ?

1. Slob:: -by Pig

2. 60:: seconds

3. Personals:: Ad

4. Famous:: Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

5. Cancer:: July

6. Internet:: Blog

7. Previously:: Known

8. Moonshine:: Really Drunk

9. Ants:: in your pants!

10.Check:: book

April 26, 2003

It’s late but I am updating for Rachel. She wanted to know how things went. The cheesecake is delicious… yum. I didn’t make the bread because I didn’t have apple juice and didn’t want to go get any. How is that for lazy? If anybody wanted to know if I’m pregnant ( ) I still don’t know! I know the suspense is horrible, isn’t it? I went this morning and had my blood drawn.

If you remember, I started taking Prometrium (progesterone) around March 20th or so. I took the progesterone for 23 days with my last dose ending on April 11. It is now April 26 and AF has not arrived. This suggests that I may be pregnant. I’ve taken two HPT now and they have both been negative, but my doctor still wanted the bloodwork done. I found this link though and don’t know how to feel about it… Progesterone and No Period. What do you think that means?

April 25, 2003

It’s cold and icky out. Yuck. I’m home from work early. Spent all day trying to teach people the new computer system. Yee haw. I go tomorrow to the hospital to get my blood drawn. Then they will find out if I am pregnant and if so how pregnant I am. Keep your fingers crossed that there is a little pea growing in there. DH is praying cause he doesn’t want to do clomid. Since we know my cousin is having triplets and she was on clomid he is a bit scared hehehe. I’m more scared of carrying twins and of the risks to me but mostly to babies.

I’m making cheesecake right now. And cinnamon apple bread (it’s fabulous served warm with butter sugar and cinnamon on top) and brown rice. Leftover ham will also be served sometime tonight and I need to do laundry! I’ll write more later tonight or tomorrow!

April 23, 2003

To take a test or not… that is the question.

Tomorrow is Thursday. One week since the last prego test. Should I take it? I hate the disappointment. I don’t know. Hm…. What do you guys think? Should I take the test in the morning?

I apologize for being MIA this week. I’ll try and be better. I’m going to rewrite what I wrote yesterday just making sure to save frequently! I only have about 15 minutes. Okay I last wrote on Thursday. Friday I cleaned a house, went to my “normal” job, and then went to babysit. The house wasn’t to terribly awful. I would consider it somewhat picked up except in areas where kids are at. It mainly needed dusting and such. I ran out of time so I’ll go earlier next week and work on more details. I think by the end of next time or the time after it will be in an excellent condition and more easily maintained. I didn’t get to blog Friday night because by the time the day was over I was exhausted and went straight to bed!

On Saturday morning, we went to breakfast with my grandparents. We really enjoy eating with them! Afterwards all of us went for a walk in the cemetery with the dogs. My older dog, Gracy, loves to go to the cemetery and chase moles! Ella loves the wide open space to run in. Saturday evening we went and babysat for the usual people. We really enjoy their kids and the 5month old daughter now recognizes us. The little boy adores my husband and the little girl loves to coo and giggle at him. It is so fun to watch him interact with the babies. Makes my heart swell. I want to give him one so badly.

Nothing else new. I continue to dislike my job with each passing day. I think if I only had one day off in the middle of the week it would make all of the difference. I would be able to run errands and tend to the house. Once we get the debt paid off I think I am definitely scaling back to partime. After we have a baby I don’t intend to work at all. Yay! Something to look forward to.

The doctor has prescribed clomid for me. Now if AF would ever arrive it would help. I took my last dose of Progesterone on April 11 so I should have started AF by now. I took a test on the 17th and it was negative so maybe I’ll take another one tonight. The doctor is supposed to call today. She may want me to have some bloodwork done. I’m tired of it. I really have just tried to forget about AF. **sigh**

Well I’m off to a meeting now. I’m going to try to get off of work early tonight. Wish me luck. My tummy hurts!

Sunday we worked on the house getting it ready for company and I spent most of the day in the kitchen. We had Easter dinner around 4pm. My mom and stepdad, grandparents, and brother in law came. We had spiral ham, corn casserole, green bean casserole, sour cream potatoes, and rolls. Mmmm…

We’ve been taking lots of walks lately. It has been fun and the dogs really enjoy it. Besides that the exercise makes me feel thin.

April 22, 2003

Okay I’m mad now I had just gone into this HUGE entry and the computer shut itself down. Urghh.. I don’t think have time to repeat all of that. I should have saved it before I lost it, dangit.

April 17, 2003

I’m gonna be okay I think. AF hasn’t arrived yet the OBGYN said it is okay for now. Hold out, if it doesn’t come in a week, take another test. Do these people realize how long a freaking week is? Obviously not, they are probably one of those people that get pregnant just because they kissed their husband. (nothing against those of you who have no trouble getting prego) She did however call in a prescription for Clomid. I asked for it. I’m tired of this. Emotionally I just can’t take it. I know that I haven’t gone through this nearly as long as everyone else. You all are so brave. It’s just that with my previous hx of depression and such, I just don’t know how much more of it that I can take before it drives me into the ground for good. I need a bit of happiness. In fact, I deserve a little happiness. We all do. We just don’t realize it. But we should though. We are all wonderful.

I told dh this morning to not worry about multiples. I’m not taking shots of clomid, just the oral version *that is if AF ever decides to come* which should lower the risks of multiple births. My rational to him was that if we can’t get one what makes him think we would get two? Though deep down inside I think twins would be cool, though a ton of trouble, considering I already have Ella (my puppy!) who thinks that I am her mom. She is so big! She turned 1 year old this month!! Right now Ella is sitting in the chair a few feet away from me. She is pretty tired. Me too. I should go to bed.

Tomorrow I have to get up at the crack of dawn to clean a house. Then I’m off to work, and afterwards, I’m going to babysit. **yawn** I’m tired just thinking about it. Oh! My stepdad is having surgery on his spine tomorrow (they are going through his neck! eek!). So please keep him in your thoughts. I told him it was a walk in the park and for the most part should be easy for him since he’ll be knocked out. (thank God for propofol!) heh I also told him it’s like walking across the street, millions do it every day. Although once in a while one will get hit by a gravel truck. ROTFL Thank goodness he thought it was funny.

Okay off to bed. And if you guys don’t mind, will you still keep hoping that I’m pregnant? I know that it’s a shot in the dark but maybe it could happen, right Lily? If not, hope that this clomid works right away! Good night and sweet dreams to all. I sometimes wish I could meet every one of you fabulous women who share your lives with me. You guys are truly awesome. Kind of like a sorority (right Dawn?) Kappa Kappa Blog *heh I crack myself up!*

It was negative. And quite frankly I wish I hadn’t taken it. I knew I wasn’t. This just made it more real to me. Depressing.