February 18, 2003

Okay everybody is driving me nuts today. I am not pregnant, if I am, I don’t know it. I’m tired of walking the halls at work and seeing big pregnant bellies. And all those babies! I want one! I’m tired of people asking me “are you pregnant?” NO! I AM NOT ******* PREGNANT! I WILL LET YOU KNOW! And there is the other, “heh, well are you doing it right?” urgh. If little girls who haven’t graduated high school can concieve I am sure that my husband and myself, two college educated individuals, can concieve. STOP ASKING. IT ISN’T HELPING.

It’s my body and it is stupid. Stupid, stupid body. The medicine that is supposed to make my body work right makes me so terribly terribly sick. I hate it. But I want a baby so bad. And I might be pregnant. I’ve been on this medicine almost three weeks. Maybe my body got the message released an egg and my hunny’s “swimmers” greeted it with open arms. Okay so that was a bit graphic, but it’s highly possible, right? **agree with me, I’m trying to be positive” So with that in mind I bought a pregnancy test. Two to be correct. I figured that if I wasn’t I would need one next month. And if the first one was positive, then I would want to take another one to make sure. heh. Think good thoughts and I’ll take this test in the morning. I’m so tired of disappointment. And I hate only seeing one line. I hate it. HATE HATE HATE. urgh. I’m gonna get back to my book. ** New book. “Fast Women” by Jennifer Cruise ** I’ll see you tomorrow kiddies…

February 16, 2003

**note to self: must blog more** I’ve been so wrapped up in my book that nothing in the world matters. Plus, it has been so cold that I just don’t feel like doing anything. I did finish my book, I Don’t Know How She Does It, which was an AWESOME book. I’ve been doing laundry today and playing the sims. I’m trying to beat the game so I can unlock all of the cool stuff and use it during the open ended version that my husband and I have started. I also need to mop floors but that might have to wait. This house is so big and hard to keep up with. I don’t know how my mom did it all those years, except for the fact that she LOVES to clean which probably makes it a lot easier. What the heck are we going to have for dinner/lunch. I would like to go to Superwalmart in Kokomo, IN but since I’m on call for the hospital I can’t go that far north in case I get called in. I called them this morning and the call board looked dead so I don’t think that I would get called in, but one can never assume, it makes an ass out of u and me. **sigh** I have to go cut coupons out of the Sunday paper, practice the piano *that is fun* and clean.

We did get snow here by the way, it snowed, and snowed, and snowed, and snowed. And today it’s supposed to snow, snow, snow, sleet, snow, hail, snow…. And tomorrow…..

February 12, 2003

Let me start off by saying I’m so sorry I haven’t been religious about this lately. I’ve been reading beanmom, imacmom, and bizarrogirl, Mary and such but haven’t really dove into mine. Alot of it would be because I am so incredibly tired. The glucophage (medicine I’m taking to control my insulin and help get me pregnant) has taken over my body. The side effects are in full force and let’s just leave it at that they aren’t pretty side effects. I’ve also started to read a book. I absolutely LOVE reading but don’t do it often enough because of a lack of time. And when I do start to read the book I get so completely engrossed in it that I forget about all my other stuff I should be doing and just read. Right now I’m reading “I Don’t Know How She Does It” a fabulous book about a corporate mom and how she has to juggle marriage, kids, and work. Though I don’t have kids as of yet, I completely understand how hard it is to juggle marriage and a full time job. **sigh** I have to go now, the pizza I ordered is here. I promise to be better and blog religiously!

February 9, 2003

Life has seemed like it has been on fast forward. I feel like I never get anything done. I’m always tired and this medicine IS MAKING ME SICK! And it doesn’t stop when I get pregnant, I have to take it through the first trimester to bring the risk of miscarriage down. We ran errands yesterday, bought gas, did the grocery shopping, and played Sims. The husband has taken a nap each day this weekend but when I get up at 10am instead of 9am like I said I would, it pisses him off. URGH! I’m not a morning person, dangit.

Today my mother and stepdad came over for lunch. Baked spaghetti. Since we are living in the house I grew up in *that my mother just recently moved out of* and in the process of buying it, I obviously had to do mega cleaning. Now, don’t get me wrong I am a clean person. I like to think that I keep a farely well, clean, organized household running. Remember that I do work 40+ hours a week. But my mother (who is perfect, right? and I will never obtain that kind of perfection in her eyes) cleans for a living. That’s right folks her 40 hours that she puts in a week are cleaning a workplace. And she used to clean houses for extra cash. And on the weekends for fun she cleans vehicles (washes, waxes, and details) for some extra $$$. And (you guessed it) for fun she also cleans her own house. **sigh** With me being sick every night from this medicine, two dogs, and two very tired people living in the house, we never reach her “idea” of clean.

But it was nice to see them. We haven’t done much since they left. Played a little more Sims, took the dogs for a walk. He took a nap but I didn’t *because then I would be accused of sleeping too much* (damn double-standard) And my poor mouse is dying. I keep giving it CPR, and he is hanging on for dear life. Let’s all pray for him because I don’t want him to die, nor do I have the money to replace him. I’m going to bed do start another week again. Where the heck did my weekend go? I need like two weeks off to get stuff done, but I’m saving all my PTO to take an extended maternity leave. I want three months with PTO week right before it (so I don’t go into labor at work which is highly likely doing the work I do) and a week PTO at the end of the three months. Of course, I guess I should get pregnant first. They don’t like handing out time off in the first place, let alone maternity leaves for non pregnant people. More later… and rants that I’ve been saving up for a day when I have the energy to blog… sweet dreams…

February 7, 2003

Ella the dog has horrible gas and she always has to be by my side! I love her but my Lord she’s stinking me out of the house! I keep looking around to see if she pooped on the floor! ROTFLMAO! gross!

The Thursday Thumb Twiddler

1. You’re filing an expense report at work, and there are some items that you know you can fudge for an extra $5 or $10, without chance of being caught. Do you? What if you’ve done things for your employer in the past that you weren’t compensated for?

I being a weak person, would be completely honest. If I fibbed, I would live the rest of my life in fear that I had been caught. I’m a good girl *well, when it comes to things like that*

2. You’re reading something on a controversial topic that flies in the face of what you believe is true, but which has some interesting points to it that you didn’t consider before. Do you keep reading?

Yes, it never hurts to be well informed. It could change my opinion, but probably not since I am so strong willed. And if I was that passionate about the topic, I would need more than *1* source to change my mind.

3. What do you want the most? What if you knew you couldn’t get it, no matter what you did?

Right now what I want most in the world is a baby. Melissa said she would kick my ass if I didn’t stay posiitive so I’m not going to think about not getting it. Though if it were an object like a car or a sofa, and I knew I couldn’t have it, I would probably still keep wanting and working towards in hopes that the future would change and I would be able to get it. If I’m like 90 and I still didn’t have it I would just steal it. LOL I really wouldn’t but what are they going to do to me at 90? Give me life in jail? Kill me? ROTFLMAO…

Okay so I have a lot of catching up to do. I got online last night to blog and had written a good three or four paragraphs when my screen went completely blank and my computer started coding. *Remember: I work in the OR* So after a bit of CPR, cussing, and just down right praying for it to work again (correctly!) I gave up. I called it at about 2325 and gave it a little going away, R.I.P., prayer. **sigh**

Then I set to work on birthing a new, reformatted hard drive. Now I have to still download my other programs like winamp, KAZAA, yahoo messenger, and ICQ. I do have the essentials though like Insight Cable Program and AOL Instant Messenger. I must work on it more tonight but I’m hungry and want to play the Sims. I’m so addicted…

Here is a bit of catching up. Well it will up there ha!

February 5, 2003

Scottie the Hottie or sometimes known as Suture Boy is supposed to drop by and visit my blog. I wonder if he did. Scottie leave a message!

This seemed like fun! This or That:

1. Morning or night person?

Definitely a night person, and I’m slowly turning my hubby into a night owl too! Thank goodness! Getting up at the crack of dawn just isn’t fun. And now Ella the puppy will sleep longer in the morning (as long as it’s in my bed!)

2. Heavy or light sleeper?

Definitely a heavy sleeper, scares me when I am on call that I might not wake up to the phone or my pager!

3. Remember your dreams or not?

I do remember my dreams. yay! Dreams are fun .

4. Do you need a lot of sleep, or just a little?

I thrive on 10 hours of sleep! I could sleep for an entire weekend and I would feel great. I think I’m still catching up on sleep from college.

5. Do you need something like a nightlight or TV to sleep, or do you prefer complete darkness?

I used to like to fall asleep watching TV, but my husband didn’t like it so I stopped. Now he watches the TV at night, and it’s hard for me to fall asleep! Go figure!

6. Flannel sheets or some other kind?

Flannel sheets are nice in the winter, but I like T-shirt sheets!

7. One pillow, or more?

Two pillows please! Though dh and I play keep away with the pillows and covers all night long.

8. Bedroom door opened or closed at night?

Depends on the night and who (dogs) we are trying to keep in, but mainly closed.



9. Wrap yourself into blankets like a cocoon, or just cover yourself with them?

Just cover, but my husband seems to think a cocoon is fun while leaving me freezing!

10. Alarm clock: wake to music or buzzer?

A buzzer, and a very loud one at that! Did I mention I was a heavy sleeper?

February 4, 2003

So much to say yet so little time. I have a few rants about work but I’ll wait till later for that. Making dinner for my husband, cheese enchiladas and spanish rice (sorry beanmom, I know you can’t have dairy!). LONG day at work today. But I did do something cool. Went to the HEALTHY LIFESTYLES office at work to get a pedometer (for free!) Since 5 o’clock I have taken 4,917 steps! That is equivalent to 2.09 miles and I have burned 232.7 calories! Go me! I can’t wait to wear it all day tomorrow at work to see how many miles I walk in one day! I’ll keep ya updated. The dogs are on the floor messing around and they are driving me BANANAS! I have so much email to catch up on but now I think I’m going to enjoy the mini date with my husband.. eating and playing sims on playstation2. Isn’t love grand?